The Percy Says Column
Gay Vs. Straight Part 2: DL, Really?
Even actors, rappers, athletes, and politicians are in the closet and choose not to come out. Instead, they live through casual encounters through the local gyms, the barber shops, specially invited parties, local restaurants, album/single release parties, video shoots, studio sessions, VIP events, boy’s trips, fishing trips, out-of-town sporting events, escorts, masseurs, and NDA rendezvous out of the country.
Gay Vs. Straight: “The only time someone is scared of a dog is when they plan on getting close enough for it to bite.” That was one of the last lines of the previous Gay vs. Straight article. Hopefully, you have had enough time to consider it since reading it. If so, you should get the idea that I was talking about people on the DL or “the down low.” The last Gay vs. Straight article talks about how homophobic people usually have very irrational fears and hatred towards homosexuals. Maybe these same people might be worried about being around homosexuals or lesbians because it may bring out the desires they have been harboring all along.
Being on the DL is nothing new to the world. It may be shocking to find out that the guy you look at as the major player or the tough guy is on the down low. But it is no secret that many men and women are in the closet. The main question is, why are these people in the closet? It seems like acceptance for the LBGT+ community is at the highest point it has ever been, so why do most people, mainly African American men, choose to remain on the down-low? Maybe it’s because of how they were raised. Perhaps it’s because black men want to be seen as ultra-masculine, and they feel that coming out would cause their family and friends to think otherwise. I have heard of many cases where men with the “tough guy” or “player” type reputations were the main ones who participated in private homosexual acts.
In most cases, it’s simply just false rumors and gossip. Other times, it’s someone who participated in the act with said homophobe, who “let the cat out of the bag.” There have even been times when openly gay people accuse straight men of coming on to them and solicit a pack where they promise to condone the act as long as it’s kept quiet. If it came down to one openly gay person saying this, it could be written off as a possible lie, but usually, it’s more than one person telling the same story. When you put two and two together, most of the time, there’s some truth hidden in the accusation. Maybe that is why these same people seem to tend not to have a severe problem with gays and lesbians until they realize one of them is in their midst. Maybe they are guilty of hiding in the closet and fear being “outed” by them.
Is it a coincidence that most men accused of being on the DL spent some time in prison? Although not every man who goes to jail performs homosexual acts, some do. Some even incorporate that lifestyle into their everyday life once released from prison. These men remain in the closet once they are back on the streets because they want to maintain the persona of being straight and not risk damaging the perception of who they are in the real world.
Since when are being outed and remaining on the DL the only two choices for living an alternative lifestyle? Why can’t men and women simply walk out of the closet instead of being pushed out? Even actors, rappers, athletes, and politicians are in the closet and choose not to come out. Instead, they live through casual encounters through the local gyms, the barber shops, specially invited parties, local restaurants, album/single release parties, video shoots, studio sessions, VIP events, boy’s trips, fishing trips, out-of-town sporting events, escorts, masseurs, and NDA rendezvous out of the country. Some even maintain the appearance of a straight life with “a paid wife for the gay guy” (also known as a beard); all the while, they frequent undisclosed parties where men of the same caliber and sex frequent for a good time. That is somewhat shocking since Carl Nassib, Tyler the Creator, and Neil Patrick Harris are famous stars who emerged as openly gay/bisexual people while keeping their careers. Ironically, even though he is openly gay, Neil Patrick Harris usually gets cast in straight male roles. Then again, those celebrities are white or seem non-threatening, and the white population is more accepting and tolerant of the good gays and non-threatening black men.
On the other hand, Black people do not. Instead, we somewhat mask who we are and pretend we’re someone else while lurking in the dark with people of the same sex. I commend Frank Ocean and Jaden Smith for having the balls to live in their truth of being gay or just not deciding but loving on whoever they want to. When you think of it, Frank and Jayden have more balls than any straight guy I know. You gotta have some big kahunas to be a man, a rapper, black, and come out just before the release of your first album. Now that’s balls, and that is a man I can respect.
No matter how much support the LBGT+ community gets, people will always be uncomfortable with who they are and choose to stay in the closet. It could be a teenager who wants to wait until he/she goes away to a college to be themselves. It could be a single woman who is bisexual, but not many people know about it. Sometimes it might not be a case of someone being innocent and just waiting for the right moment to come out. It could be a man who frequently cheats on his wife with men, risking heartbreak, and diseases his wife, because he doesn’t wrap it up. Either way, living a double life must be complicated and sometimes damn stressful because you’re living for others. But we all have choices, and some may think of those who remain in the closet as cowards. Maybe one day, society will become more tolerant and accepting of the gay community, and people shouldn’t have to choose who they are and what they like. People won’t have to spend their lives hiding in a miserable shell. I’m just saying!
Contributor: A.J.