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Being a young black man, I know plenty of beautiful black women who are very confident in their appearance. At the same time, there are many who tend to be just a bit self-conscious. To me, this is very puzzling. Why would a beautiful dark skin black woman with flawless skin and a gorgeous smile feel as if she is constantly over looked by the women with lighter skin tones? Why is it that a women who is a size 12, not overweight, but just kind of thick (in the right places) feel like she needs to lose weight and tone down her curves? Why is interracial dating such a sensitive topic to black women when it concerns black men going to different races?

I hear it all the time. A woman with a dark complexion complaining about men of her race only going for the women who have light skin and straight hair. Then you have the beautiful big women saying that men only want skinny women. At the same time, the slim figured women complains that the media causes men to only want women that have their waistlines, but unrealistic measurements when it comes to their breasts and rear-ends. You also have black women saying that black men all want white women, and white women who date black men saying that black men are afraid to approach them because of what black women think. While these assumptions might be true in some cases, I can’t help to think that it is slightly absurd. Most people blame the media for making women have this mindset as well as making a certain type of women seem popular and more beautiful, not because she actually looks better, but simply because she looks a certain way.

I agree that women shouldn’t pay attention to what the media say is beautiful, but focus more on the features that make them beautiful and unique. For example, if you are a dark woman, you shouldn’t feel like you are missing out because light skin is in, but rather realize that even though you might not have the naturally curly or straight hair, bright colored eyes and fair complexion, you might still have those gorgeous eyes that just glimmer in the light, clear beautiful skin that is soft and smooth and that flawless smile that just lights up the room! So ladies, “love yourself, because we sure do love you.” Know just how beautiful you are and don’t focus on what the media says is beautiful, but what you think is beautiful.

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Copyright 2012 USL Magazine